Are You a Manager Stuck in the Friend Zone?

I’ve been doing quite a bit of work with managers lately around leadership, and in the process I’ve come across a couple of managers who can’t seem to get themselves out of the friend zone.

What the hell does that mean?

Let me explain. A manager stuck in the friend zone is someone who considers themselves more of a friend and colleague to their team than a manager. They manage through participation, strive for acceptance and in my experience tend to dread the concept of being an ‘authority figure’, especially someone who abuses their authority, is aggressive or demanding. They want to be liked, they want genuine personal relationships with their team, and they want to be seen as someone who is willing to step onto the front line and get their job done with the team, rather than stepping away from them.

None of this sounds particularly problematic, right? Indeed, the style of participative manager can be very effective. For many, this is the opposite of the typical ‘bad manager’, who sits — secluded — in an office barking orders and trying not to get too involved with anyone or thing. There are many strengths to this style, including the ability to listen to team members’ concerns, an involvement in day to day activities, and a true sense of ‘teamwork’ in the environment.

We start to see a problem, though, when this need for inclusion, helping and acceptance overrides the ability to delegate, make decisions, and empower the team to grow by…